I had a flatmate at university who surprised up to the communal kitchen in a T-shirt with “Dead girls don’t say no” on its mask. I realised many things that day, one of which was: a top with a catchword can be a risky strategy. There are plenty of ways to do the slogan look correctly.

Poops to avoid include: “dirty”, “mad”, anything with an lock mark or a hint of fake old Americana about it. Puns are bad, too. As my old art counsellor used to say, KISS (keep it simple stupid). Although, lugubriously, that wouldn’t itself work for a slogan top.