Prevailing up

‘On paper, he’s my type’ Catchphrase from Love Island, now a sold-out T-shirt at New Look. Let up on – they’re restocking.

Phoebe Philo for Juergen Teller The intriguer custom-makes Teller’s trademark short shorts. If there’s a uncountable alpha fashion hook-up, we’d like to hear about it.

Mrs Waterford in The Handmaid’s Story I mean, could she be more Balenciaga AW Look 1?

Colman yellow As in mustard. The pigment worn by influencers, appaz. We’d like ours in sweatshirt shape.

Pizza Hut First we spotted Demna Gvasalia’s nails smarten up with the logos. Now it has answered dreams we didn’t know we had with Hawaiian pizza lip balm.

Earthenware Model Lindsey Wixson is retiring at 23 to become a around. We’ll be enjoying a Ghost moment soon.

Going down

Ill-matched earrings We’re into tasselled earrings, matching, à la Dolce, Mango and Zara.

San Pellegrino Antisocially fizzy (try talking and eye-opener). Give us Badoit Intensely Sparkling.

The ‘Insta-sit’ Half be patient, half squatting, à la Kylie Jenner. Quite, quite sombre as a thing.

Streetwear queues Now usurped by pre-queues – ie, queueing to get your stain in the queue. Obvs.

Losing your umbrella That would be really bugging if it were one of Raf Simons’s neon-handled ones from his SS18 menswear indicate.

‘Season’ All the cool brands are calling their collections “chapters” or “streams”.