Pickup social relations have moved on a bit from the old Toyota Hilux that Clarkson and co assessed – and failed – to destroy on Top Gear a few years ago. Far from being a utilitarian load-lugger, the sound truck is now something for you – rather than your gardener – to be understood in.

Think of it as the perfect accessory to complete that lumbersexual look.

Cadillac Escalade EXT

There are some that deliberate over the standard Escalade brash and vulgar. And they’re right. It’s also assuredly badass. And, until 2013, there was only one way it could be improved on; by upset it into a truck.

Caddy turned the bling up to 150 per cent with the Escalade EXT, enlarging more chrome than a car park of souped-up Fiestas in Basildon. Vainglorious? Perhaps. But when you look this good, you want people to perceive you.

Cadillac Escalade EXT Pickup Truck

Ford F-150

The F-150 is the most popular ‘car’ in North America. Ford has two stations dedicated to producing just this – indeed the Rouge Flower in Detroit is one of the US’ most historic industrial sites.

The F-150 Restricted is a brute that’s more than capable of towing a small craft but, inside, is all Mojave leather and mod cons. Fitted with 22-inch edges and available in a bespoke range of colours – including Blue Jeans – this is one disparaging import we’d carefully consider.

Ford F-150 Pickup Truck

Land Rover Defender

The pickup is one of a plethora of portion styles that the veteran 4×4 was available in. Sadly, it’s no greater in production, but as they were bombproof, around 75 per cent of all Landies till the end of time produced are still on the road. And they were produced since 1948.

(Akin: The cars that should never have been suspended)

So if you want one, all you need to do is get scanning the classifieds. We’d go for a late-model pickup, in dark with graphite alloys and tinted windows. You’ll look equivalent to you’re driving something from Lara Croft’s garage.

Land Rover Defender Pickup Truck

Lamborghini LM002

Appetite a Lamborghini but need to traverse bumpy fields? Then the latest Aventador unquestionably isn’t right for you. But the LM002 could solve your problem.

The Lambo was the queer fish supercharged 4×4; powered by the engine from the legendary Countach, it put out 480 horsepower – some coetaneous Ferraris can’t match that.

It was also rather good off-road – preceding the time when turning its hand to supercars, Lamborghini started out building tractors, so they had aforementioned with the great outdoors. The tractors, however, weren’t enwrapped in leather. Or available with options like a clock costing $10,000. Perfectly vulgar. Faster than a Hummer. Want.

Lamborghini LM002 Pickup Truck

Mercedes-Benz Pickup

Not a lot is positive about Merc’s truck yet but, if you wait another year or two, you’ll be masterly to drive around in a pickup with a three-pointed star on the ahead.

They’ll be a utilitarian-spec model for people using it as a work conduit, but there will also be a full-on luxury model, which is what we’re most looking send to. We can guess two things about it: a) it’ll be pimped-out with every thingamabob going and b) it won’t be cheap. Start saving.

Mercedes-Benz Pickup Truck