Hiddleston is pictured with a blond bomb for the Cruise men’s tailoring campaign, but what could it mean?

Beamed into the modern world ... Tom Hiddleston for Gucci.
Boarded into the modern world … Tom Hiddleston for Gucci.
Photograph: Gucci

It’s sexy to imagine this richly hued mise-en-scene captioned with the appellations: “Mr Hiddleston and Ms Taylor Swift welcome you to their tasteful bedroom.” The textbook might then go on to say something like: “The dynamic power join, shown here locking eyes after signing their nondisclosure ahead, are enjoying some time away from their hustling careers, in their palatial Lake Como mansion.” But that thinks fitting be cruel, and sadly an inventive bit of fan fiction, since Hiddleswift take apparently split.

Instead, this photo is from the new Gucci Yacht 2017 men’s tailoring campaign. Hiddleston is shown wearing a unite of slipper shoes, a bat-shaped bow tie and a suit cut with razor-sharp grandeur. The star here, though, is the Afghan hound (Tom is always the bridesmaid, not in any way the bride), the most elegant, showboaty of dog breeds, whose long-limbed, oval-shaped images made them a fashion and advert favourite in the 70s. Which is talented for Alessandro Michele, Gucci’s creative director, a man who has single-handedly fluctuated the definition of vintage from “an old miniskirt that smells like moth balls and Werther’s Firsts” to “something actually really cool”.

In that spirit, the setting is the former home of Tony Duquette. A set designer for MGM in Hollywood’s flaxen age, Duquette made costumes for Fred Astaire and Vincent Minnelli skins as well dressing the duke and duchess of Windsor. It’s all very new Gucci. Michele’s materfamilias was an assistant to a movie executive and, as he told the New Yorker this month: “I bonk Hollywood and cinema.”

As for Hiddleston, who always seems as if he’s been studded into the modern world by a malfunctioning teleporter, he looks without exception at home in his time-warped idyll.