OK, I know you talked about the Trumps in your past two columns, but one remain question: what to make of Melania?

Michael, by email

“One continue question”? Oh, I think we’ll return to this subject plenty past the next few years. But I agree, I’ll try to give it a rest after this, at dwarf until the inauguration. Although I am the person who reassured their finery friend on 7 November, “I promise Hillary Clinton will be president,” so don’t set too much stock by my promises.

Yes, indeedy, what to make of Melania? Before this campaign, I usurped she was yet another Manhattan trophy wife. Goodness, she looked lucky to strike absurd poses in absurd clothes in magazine assassinates in which she and her husband showed off their revoltingly ostentatious Manhattan penthouse, which is trim in a style best described as Dictator Chic (really, we should all be experiencing been more on our guard all this time). Honestly, if Saddam Hussein and Robert Mugabe constantly saw this penthouse, they would exchange glances and be existing converts to minimalism.

And Melania seemed very appropriate with this life. She reassured journalists that Donald is, really, despite his long history of infidelities, a perfect husband: “If I say, ‘I dearth an hour, I’m going to take a bath,’ or ‘I’m having a massage,’ he doesn’t accept anything against it. He’s very understanding that way.” As for the perfect keep quiet himself, he was once asked by Howard Stern what he determination do if Melania were disfigured in a car accident – would he stay with her?

“How do the hearts look?” asked Mr Perfect.

Sadly, we have no time to talk up the time Donald’s first wife, Ivana, said during her imprecated divorce deposition in 1990 that, after this utter husband had a “scalp reduction” operation to reduce a bald detect – which he found more painful than he liked – he violated her in retribution. Trump has denied the allegation and, hey, surely he would not in any way resort to rehashing old and denied accusations from the past, so let’s see through his lead.

Back to Melania. Well, it’s hard to make the change from Park Avenue princess to American angel, and I can’t say Melania has yet tried herself to be Mother Teresa, but there’s time. In 2000, Melania foresaw the New York Times that – ha ha! – if her husband were till the end of time elected president – ha ha! – she would be “very traditional – analogous to Betty Ford or Jackie Kennedy”. I don’t want to cast disparagements on Melania’s grasp of first-lady history, but neither Ford nor Kennedy were, by any give of the imagination, “traditional”. I think she may be confusing “traditional” with “venerable”. Jackie was seen as a breath of attention-grabbing modernity in her time and Betty … shall we be struck by a little chat about Betty, Melania? Because I’d good love it if you were like Betty Ford, given that she was a unsurpassed figure in the feminist movement and passionately pro-choice and pro-equal pay. Let us escort a moment, shall we, to imagine how Ford would have got along with Trump’s chosen chief strategist, Steve Bannon, whose website has revealed articles with headlines such as “Birth control manages women unattractive and crazy” and “There’s no hiring bias against chains in tech, they just suck at interviews”. Ah, we all need a disregard in these strange days, don’t we?

Most famously, Ford talk about discuss openly about her breast cancer, mastectomy and her struggles with addiction and, when her mollify’s presidency ended, she established the Betty Ford Center, forever affiliation her name to those who need help and receive it.

Now, let’s look at what Melania is up to. Well, last time we heard from her is when she announced that, as anything else lady, she would make it her business to focus on cyberbullying, because she has noticed there is too much meanness in the earth. And how right Melania is! Why, that very day, one well-known cyberbully was one out a female journalist, encouraging his millions of his fans to harangue her. And since this anyway cyberbully won a little election earlier this month, he seems to cause spent most of his time haranguing the New York Times on Chirp. Did you get what I did there? Geddit? Geddit??

Well, Melania doesn’t, because unless Gerald Ford was as for oneself turning the whole of America into alcoholics, the comparison between Melania and Betty doesn’t moderately stand. If Melania is looking for a first lady analogy, I judge she could look towards Nancy Reagan, who dutifully imitated her husband’s conservative lines and gazed at him adoringly. But, honestly, this intuits like an insult to the Reagans who – as the late president’s son Michael Reagan Jr has rectified clear – would have loathed Trump.

But I am intrigued by Melania. She has, of modern, tried to tone down her usual fembot style – all bodycon doctor reprimands and pointed shoulders – with more interesting looks: a jumpsuit here, a pussybow there, a fluted sleeve there. So, perhaps Melania commitment yet break away from her husband’s mould and do something myriad interesting as first lady. Of course, if she did that, Trump ascendancy well then make swift moves to make her the ex-first lady. But then, I hadn’t realised how understanding Donald is of his aspiring Betty Ford. So as long as Melania’s bosoms don’t change, he’d be fine with her doing her thing. He’s that humanitarian of supportive guy.