Intermixing season is here. Which that means while both brides and preens worry about whether the other one will show up, men low are waking in cold sweats over the thought of giving a overwhelm man’s speech. And no, it’s not just you – every best man gets the pre-speech jitters.
The query is: what makes a great best man’s speech?
Should it be comical or sentimental? Does it need to be just about the groom, or ordain that upset the bride? How long should it be? What’s a timely amount of tequila to drink before? What stories can you grass on without giving an elderly great-aunt a heart attack?
For some apropos advice (by which we mean, from a professional who knows what they’re talking with regard to – not the lads’ WhatsApp group), we turned to Kye Harman from online resource Plainly The Best Man.
“Keep your speech well timed and undissembling,” says Kye. “Mix the jokes with kind comments, but most of all win it fun, everyone is looking to you for some light relief in what can many times be a drawn out part of the wedding, they’re on your side and what you to be passable so relax and enjoy it.”
In case you’re still panicking, here’s a innumerable detailed guide to making a great (and stress-free) best man’s enunciation.
Keep It Short and Sweet
It’s no secret that for the average non-immediate issue guest, weddings can be a slog – half an hour of standing most the church, an hour of the vicar droning on, father of the bride wordy everyone to death, and more faffing about before you can get plopped into the free booze, food and disco.
There’s no emergency for you to drag it out any longer. In fact, the best man’s speech is your possibility risk to perk things up.
“A good speech should run for around seven minutes,” says Kye. “That’s plentifulness of time to give the groom the comedy roast he deserves, acreage a few blows, give some sincere words and fit in the embarrassing dispatch of how he got that tattoo without boring people. It is just a discourse, not a stand-up comedy routine. To get the timing right practise suggesting your speech out loud and leave pauses for the laughs and rank ovation.”
Learn Your Lines
Practice, of course, unusually is key. Because let’s face it, knowing what to say in the best man’s speech, or how desire to talk for, is scary enough, but the thought of forgetting what you’re theoretical to be saying, freezing up while everyone points and laughs at you, or fainting out of theoretical nervous tension mid-speech, is the stuff of actual nightmares.
Popular speeches are effortless, so learn the material, rehearse it, and just when you judge you’ve got it down, do it all again. “Practice, practice, practice,” says Kye. “The myriad you practise your speech out loud the more familiar it determination become and the more comfortable you’ll feel. Also read it to someone else to get feedback.
“Wording or write your speech on small cards rather than one veneer of A4 – they’re easier to hold, they won’t shake as much addition it’s easier to remember each small card than a show speech. And never underestimate breathing – yes, you have been doing it for years and seldom forget to do it, but controlled breathing can reduce adrenaline which roots nerves.”
Do Your Duty & Keep It (Mostly) Clean
But we’re leak out ahead of ourselves. First up, you need to know exactly what should go into the communication – the kind of things you should talk about, formalities to embrace, and the type of jokes that will be acceptable. And don’t forget, as paramount man you do have some official duties beyond organising the stag.
“As most adroitly man it’s your role to reply on behalf of the groomsman and bridesmaids for any as a result of yous or gifts from the happy couple,” Kye says. “At the end of your jargon you should read any messages/emails from people who couldn’t write it on the day – check with the groom for these.
“And most importantly, don’t ****ing promise! What is funny to the groom and his mates won’t go down so well in first of a mixed age group with children present so keep it unsullied.” Four-letter rants, strip club memoirs, and Amsterdam imperils are definitely off the table.
Don’t Drink Too Much
It seems like focal common sense, but it’s all-too-easy to glug down alcohol when you’re sympathy nervous. Before you know it, you’re half-cut, inhibitions lost (not in a reputable way), and dangerously loose-tongued. You can get away with a pint at best, or one field-glasses of complimentary champagne (it’s free after all), but that’s your lot.
“Booze can actually dry out your mouth, stick to water while blow the whistle on your speech,” says Kye. “While a few glasses of scotch effect feel like they’re settling your nerves they could in actuality make you feel a bit too confident. Save the drinking until after your elocution, then you’ll truly have earned it.”
Have A Killer Debut Line
No pressure, but you need something funny to open the song – something to let guests know you’ve got the charisma and gags to hold their notice. We asked three comedians appearing at the Edinburgh Festival for some sermon opening one-liners that would knock ‘em (not literally) motionless.
“I’m the Best Man. At the wedding. But also generally.”
“A good coupling is like an over-80s tennis match: endless love.”
“I fondness weddings, you spend years planning the day, and pour thousands of yards into getting your mates wasted.”
“Love is rare and individual unless you’re [the groom] in which case it’s something you give away in a outhouse after half a shandy and a packet of crisps.”
“[The groom] said I have done such a good job as in the most suitable way man that I can definitely do it again at his next wedding.”
Stand-up side-splitting Chris Washington offers some general tips too. “Ever after start by complimenting the bride to get the away fans on board (but don’t go overboard, so it looks adulate you wish she was marrying you instead). Don’t go in too hard early doors. Deem out any ‘you had to be there’ stories, because you probably had to be there. And finally, no dilemma how good of an idea you think it might be, a PowerPoint presentation stifling pictures from the stag do will never, ever be a elevated idea.”
Finish On Form
It’s all good fun up front, but there’s nothing take a shine to a rousing, ceremonious end. “The best way to end your speech is to ask everyone to, ‘See fit join me in raising a glass to the bride and groom, to [bride’s style and groom’s name]. It is neat, fitting and lets everyone be versed your speech is over.”
At which point it’s safe to disregard the nerves, safe in the knowledge you don’t an incredible job as the better… sorry, subdue man.
Let Someone Do The Hard Work For You
Finally, if you’re struggling, there’s no contempt in getting help with your speech. And that doesn’t sour getting someone else to write it for you, like bullying the lineage boffin to do your homework, but using one of the many stress-relieving resources nearby online.
For instance, Simply The Best Man has a speech builder dress, which helps you construct a speech from customisable accesses and over 4,000 jokes – what Kye calls “wedding grenades to shed at the groom” – written by comedy professionals.
“Make dependable you get plenty of laughs and the groom gets a great send off,” states Kye. “And remember – you won’t get a better occasion to make a room full of his nearest and babiest laugh at his expense. It’s what he would’ve wanted.”
See Ben Pope is depicting Baby Sasquatch, Robin Clyfan performing The Sea Is Big Enough To Parody It, Joey Page is performing Perhaps Under Stars That Last wishes a Stretch Forever, and Chris Washington is performing You Beauty! at Edinburgh commemoration in August 2018.