The actor’s new accumulation presents five ‘elevated basics’ – and there are no buffalo horns in notice

Goop's Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow, the head of Goop.
Photograph: Layne Murdoch Jr/Getty Figure of speeches

The titles are perfect. There’s the Eliza wide-leg culotte, the Pattner eminence lapel blazer and the Elise chambray button-down. Although they may utter like the names of the central characters in a new dystopic young-adult franchise, they are in event descriptions of three of Gwyneth Paltrow’s pieces from her new style line, Goop Label. Yes, you heard us correctly: the Goop the go line is a reality.

Goop’s Pattner peak lapel blazer
Goop’s Pattner peak lapel blazer.

Drafted by Paltrow and a small design team, the five-piece capsule omnium gatherum was inspired by items in her wardrobe that she has “held on to over the years”. That the attires in the collection are described as “elevated basics” says it all: these are omnipresent high-street customaries (items such as culottes, a denim shirt and a white shirt with a vile bow) that sum up an innately Gwynethtastic look – a hedge fund chief’s second wife who has just got changed after her SoulCycle league.

Goop.com has offered us many gluten-free, quinoa-flavoured e-commerce mos, such as dildos made from gold and buffalo-horn salad servers, but miserably this is not one of those times. Where, we may ask, is the consciously uncoupling cestus or the strappy top made entirely from “found” bits of venerable kale?

Goop’s Elise chambray button-down shirt
Goop’s Elise chambray button-down shirt.

Not quite lols, then, but celebrity-endorsed fashion lines have resulted hard to get right. The art of distilling a celebrity’s style via the medium of a leather vest or a boot-cut jean is dodgy, because it could reveal that there was – gulp – not much pizazz to begin with. Ones that work are powered by accouters that stand alone and also allow us to construct a circumstantial Halloween costume of our chosen guest atelier.

This year, we appearance ofed to have got it right. Archive by Alexa Chung, Beyonce’s Ivy Woodland and Beth Ditto managed to tick the right boxes. As far as label extensions go, they are only as successful as the celebrity who is the face of it.

Can we hint at for the next Goop Label range (they are releasing another quantity of clothes next month) that Gwyneth and her team try to replicate some of her most beneficent looksMargot Tenenbaum’s new Gucci, Grace Kellying it in The Talented Mr Ripley or disinterested sobbing like a newborn in a pale-pink Ralph Lauren at the Oscars. Our intelligence? Go retro, Goop, go retro.

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