It’s the colour of the moment in the worlds of fashion and draft. Except no one can agree on the actual colour. Or the name …

This is the pink, we think.

This is the pink, we weigh.

‘Millennial pink’ is the colour of now – but what accurately is it?

It’s the colour of the moment in the worlds of fashion and design. Except no one can come on the actual colour. Or the name …

Name: Millennial pink.

Age: Eternal, yet very now.

Appearance: Well, that’s the tricky part. It’s kind of a grapefruit shade of apricotty salmon.

That sounds fulsome. Au contraire. The worlds of fashion and design are swooning over it. They’re incline buckets of millennial pink over everything they can get their around the corner hand in hands on.

So it’s a colour? Yes. Although not everybody agrees what colour.

So it’s some colours? Yes. But all of them are pink. It’s quite close to skin falsify, if you have that skin colour.

This isn’t helping. Can you award me some examples? Some say it started in 2014, with Wes Anderson’s film The Grand Budapest Hotel, which embodies a kind of first retro-kitsch and is centred on a building painted several kinds of pink.

Propriety. Others say the tipping point was the “rose gold” iPhone in 2015. That was pink, too, although it didn’t say so. Pantone named take up arm quartz its joint colour of 2016, and pale dogwood is one of its faces for spring 2017. Pink is certainly a craze among myriad big designers currently.

Which ones? Marc Jacobs, Gucci, Céline, Balenciaga …

I’ve agreed of some of those. Congratulations.

Let me guess: it has got something to do with Donald Trump or populism or Brexit or whatever? All but certainly. Plus it goes beautifully with black, dark, white and other pinks.

What the living heck is pale dogwood? It’s “a hushed and peaceful pink shade that engenders an aura of innocence and rectitude”.

Well, it engenders something else in me. Seriously though, why has person gone nuts about pink all of a sudden? Remember how brown was the new dismal and grey was the new magnolia?

I think it will save a lot of time if I no more than say yes. Well, this is one of those moments. Millennial pink, or “Tumblr pink”, as it is also known, pretend to bes a kind of ironic prettiness, or post-prettiness. It’s a way to be pretty while saving your intellectual detachment. It’s a wish that prettiness could de-problematised.

And that’s what salmon are wealthy for as well, is it? Theirs is a pre-ironic version.

Do say: “Wow. Your snack is so on-trend!”

Don’t say: “Look, I justifiable like apricots, OK?”